Three Ways We Can Help Our Littles Cultivate a Healthy Body Image Starting at an Early Age

In this often vicious era of social media, body image insecurity in our children is skyrocketing, and at earlier and earlier ages, which makes my heart hurt.  We probably all compared ourselves to our peers as we grew up, but we didn’t come of age in this wireless world, which floods us with unrealistic ideas (not ideals) of beauty and masculinity.  Everything we see today is filtered to blur away any imperfection, and we know this, but even with this knowledge we come away wondering why our bodies aren’t as toned or tanned, or our hair as shiny and perfectly coiffed as the images that are poisoning and numbing our minds.  Never before has there been an actual job (position? self-appointed title?) of “social influencer.”  Ironically, most everything that social influencers are influencing us to feel is that we are less than.  So we have to, first and foremost, shield our kids from the deeply detrimental effects of social media, and then we need to take the further step of reinforcing in them that they are perfectly imperfect.  Because there is no perfect.

Here are three basic, but important, ways we can try to reinforce a positive body image in our littles:

1.  Be an Example

Sadly, most of us can relate to the feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing all the “bad” stuff.  We are the hardest on ourselves, for sure.  But this tendency can become so second nature that we may find ourselves putting our bodies down in front of our children without even realizing we’re doing it.  Even a frown as we’re inspecting ourselves won’t go unnoticed by the little eagle eyes that are always watching us.  I know I’ve caught myself doing it.  And it can be subtle.  The other day when Kensley asked me why I was wearing clay on my face, I said “Oh honey, it’s because mommy’s skin needs help.  It’s just not as perfect as yours!”  I later reflected on that comment and realized that (while kinda true, mommy’s skin needs some assistance), it could be instilling in her the idea that perfection is (a) achievable, and (b) determined by comparison with others.  Not things I want my baby girl to learn from me.  So I try to make sure I never put myself down in front of my kids.  I try to treat myself with the same compassion I treat them with, so they see in me an example of living in a place of gratitude, not self-criticism.

2.  Approach Exercise In a Healthy Way

Incorporating exercise into our lives, as a way of life, is, in itself, an amazing example for our kids.  But I think the way we talk about exercise is equally as important.  And this is related to the point above.  If we are exercising just to burn calories or lose weight, and we project that attitude in discussions with our kids around exercise, then they may grow to associate exercise with the goal of being thin.  What we should strive for is building an association of exercise with health.  So when we talk to our littles about the importance of exercise, we are hopefully emphasizing its impact on our heart health, building healthy muscle, and improving our mental and emotional health as well.  We want exercise to become a healthy part of their lives, instead of solely a means to slim down to look more like an instagram model (whatever that means).

3.  Instill an Appreciation for Every Part of the Body

I didn’t grow up thinking much about how my body functioned, or understanding all of the amazing ways it supports me.  Now that I know a little more about it, I talk about it with my kids all the time.  When they fall and scrape their knee, we talk about how amazing it is that our body’s emergency response system is immediately on the job, sending it’s little soldier cells to start the process of healing our skin.  Another thing we like to do, either at our family circles or before bedtime, is choose a body part that we really appreciated from that day.  Maybe our noses helped us to smell the yummy banana bread as it baked, or our strong legs helped us to finish our hike, or our healthy lungs helped us to breathe, even in all of this smoke.  I think this kind of regular expression of appreciation for our bodies is helpful (for all of us) to remember how beautifully miraculous our bodies are.  And, hopefully, if our kids grow up this way, they will be slower to criticize their noses, or their legs, or whatever, as they develop, and instead find gratitude for their entire body, and treat it as the blessing it is.

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We are navigating a truly difficult and unprecedented time in parenting, aren’t we?  There are demons and challenges that are novel, and threaten our babies in ways we never were.  But we can find ways to push through, and we will.  We will not let our beautiful, cherub-cheeked, precious little loves fall prey to the misconceptions, the silicon parading as truth, or the judgment in the form of a whitened smile.  Instead, we can raise them to grow fully into themselves, loving their uniqueness, and rising above the comparisons.  We can try our best to teach them to treat their bodies as the temples they are.